 By Joseph Spurgeon reposted from Crosspolitic.com
Titus 1:10-11 For there are many rebellious men, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, who must be silenced because they are upsetting whole families, teaching things they should not teach for the sake of sordid gain. Let me begin by getting straight to the point of this article. Aimee Byrd should be silenced. Her pastors, elders, and husband should love her enough to stop her from writing and teaching errors. Christian men need to rise up and tell feminists like her within the church to be quiet. Now having stated that point, let me back up and provide some context. Who is Aimee Byrd and why am I saying she must be silenced? With Covid-19, riots, critical race theory, and struggles over shutdown orders, the battles are all around us. And with all the clamor and noise of the heat of those battles, you might have missed another field of the battle that is just as intense: the battle inside conservative churches to overrule millennia of biblical teaching on masculinity and femininity. This is not a new battle though the locale might be new. Feminism has been undermining whole denominations since it has reared its ugly head. For many conservative Christians, we have thought that was all in someone else’s denomination. This was a battle lost in the PCUSA and to be fought in the SBC and PCA. Surely conservative denominations like the OPC had already slayed that feminist beast and were safe. But alas they are not. To make a long story short, the feminists have risen from within the OPC to challenge biblical manhood and womanhood. Leading the charge is Aimee Byrd. Calling herself the housewife theologian, she has done the dance that all feminists within churches have done. They start out just wanting to teach the women (1) but before you know it they are writing and speaking against ordained officers and pastors. They start off asking questions and end up making charges. The bolder they get the more they disrupt the unity and peace of the church. In one of her first books, “Why Can’t We Be Friends,” Aimee Byrd claims to be encouraging Christian men and women to see each other as co-heirs in Christ Jesus. This is certainly a worthy goal, but underneath the surface of the book was a hostility towards the God-created differences in men and women downplaying these differences so that men and women could get past them. At the same time, she was very critical of principles aimed at avoiding impropriety, for example, the Billy Graham or Mike Pence Rule (2). In a blog post leading up to the publishing of the book, she criticized this as moral pickpocketing: “So while it may seem safe to impose rules that separate ordinary encounters with the opposite sex, it isn’t the virtue of purity. It is actually over-sexualization, or as Beaty calls it, the sanctified cousin of Weinstein-ian behavior…I see the Pence Rule as pickpocketing purity, stealing unearned virtue at the expense of another’s dignity” (3). Her hatred of the distinctions between men and women leads her to end up encouraging married men and women to spend time alone with those of the opposite sex who are not their spouse. Encouraging one on one time, e.g. sharing a meal with a woman who is not your wife (4), is foolishness that undermines the chastity of Christian women and men. Before this book was ever published, her husband and elders should have intervened to bring Aimee back into the fold. But unfortunately, her work was promoted, and she grew bolder. Her attacks on biblical sexuality became stronger. Her latest polemical book, called “Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood,” alleges that conservative Christians have been wrong to emphasize the differences in the roles of women and men. She claims that they have adopted cultural definitions and missed the biblical voice of femininity (5). In this Aimee, stepping out of her station, is once again criticizing pastors and elders like John Piper and Doug Wilson while she demonstrates that she has no understanding of natural law (6) or sound biblical exegesis (7). Sadly, the screed was published and is currently among the top sellers on Amazon: number 1 in gender and number 6 in discipleship. If these errors were limited to the writing of a book it might be one thing, but Mrs. Byrd has bigger intentions. The book comes with a video series to be used in instructing the churches to recover from biblical manhood and womanhood. Furthermore, Mrs. Byrd has recently gone on a hunt to take out those who have dared to disagree with her. She worked to remove an elder from her own church for being a part of a social media group that was critical of her work. Her supporters have put together a website where they have made screenshots from that group. The intention is to shame and remove pastors and elders who opposed her work and discussed it privately (8). It is not just that Mrs. Byrd is teaching error; it is that she is working to make sure that error is propagated within the OPC, PCA, and other churches that have had some semblance of holding to biblical sexuality. And she is doing this while attempting to take out those who would criticize her work. The saddest part is how she is damaging her own soul while leading others astray and no one has had the courage to stand up to her and tell her no. This is how feminism infiltrated our culture at large and is destroying our churches. Husbands have refused to do their duty to protect their wives from lies. Husbands have refused to say no to their wives. The early feminists were able to pass a prohibition amendment to the constitution without even having the privilege to vote. Husbands would not say no. Most pastors and elders won’t rebuke them. Instead they think they are being the white knight protecting women while they allow lies to infiltrate their churches, lies that always bring destruction. What denomination, that has allowed feminism to gain a foothold, has stayed strong and healthy? Feminism always brings with it a denial of scripture, denial of nature, and thus a denial of the Fatherhood of God. Look at any denomination or church that is caving on this issue and you will see them caving on everything else. The Apostle Paul writes to Titus that it is the duty of elders to rebuke false teachers who teach things they ought not to teach. In chapter 2 of Titus, the Apostle exhorts Titus to speak with all authority things that are fitting for sound doctrine. He is to teach and exhort these things. What things? Things like this: “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored” (Titus 2: 3-5). Pastors and elders should study this and encourage women like Aimee Byrd to make this their life’s goal. Husbands need to study Numbers chapter 30. In this chapter dealing with the law on oaths and vows, a woman is placed under the authority of first her father and then, when married, her husband. If she makes an oath or takes a vow, it is his responsibility to oversee it. Verse 13 says “Every vow and every binding oath to humble herself, her husband may confirm it or her husband may annul it.” It goes on to say if the husband knows of his wife’s vow or oath and doesn’t speak out then he is giving his approval to it. Given that the Apostle Paul says in 1 Timothy 2 that it was the woman who was deceived and that the apostle Peter says that women are the weaker sex, the husband has a responsibility to protect his wife even from her own rash words. Now, the context of the passage in Numbers is the taking of oaths and vows but the principle is broader. A wife is under the authority of her husband and a husband has the responsibility to make sure that what his wife is doing is sound. A husband that allows his wife to teach error and does not speak up is giving approval to that false teaching. He also is not protecting his wife. He is showing her no love. Men, if you love your wives you need to make sure you protect them from false teaching. Make sure you oversee what teaching they are bringing in. It is clear from whom she quotes in her writings that Aimee Byrd has been soaking in a ton of egalitarian and feminist teaching (9). Her husband should have said no and protected her from this false teaching. Men, if you love your wives you will protect their souls. You will not allow them to go about as teachers teaching falsehoods and leading others astray. You will speak up and make your objections known. Doing so might just save her from doing damage to her own soul. The men of the OPC, PCA, and SBC need to grow a backbone. Pastors need to protect the women under their charge from false teaching like that coming from Aimee Byrd. Pastors need to protect those under their charge who might be tempted to become another Aimee Byrd. This only happens when you are willing to do your duty to rebuke false teaching. In conclusion, let me as a duly ordained pastor and officer in the church of the living God, with all love for the glory of God, the honor of scripture, and the souls of women, say to Aimee Byrd: Stop what you are doing. Stop seeking to be a teacher in the church. Stop seeking to divide the church with your false teaching. Stop trying to tear down pastors and elders who are opposing your nonsense. Stop dishonoring the fathers in the faith throughout church history. Stop promoting feminism whether first wave or last wave. Stop playing the victim. Stop and be Quiet. Go live a quiet life. Love and submit to your husband. Love your children. And be a keeper at home. To her husband: Love your wife enough to tell her to shut up. Notes:
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 (This is a book review I left on Amazon for Rachel Millers book "Beyond Authority and Submission." )
Rachel Miller's main proposition in her book "Beyond Authority and Submission" is that the church has adopted pagan views of sexuality to enforce patriarchy causing women to be relegated to the sphere of the home. Mrs. Miller's historical work is shoddy at best. It reaches back to misquote and paraphrase pagan authors without recognizing the theological concept of natural law. She quotes pagan authors on women being the weaker sex, staying at home, and having children. She thinks by simply quoting pagans or summarizing their statements, she has done the work of showing that their ideas are necessarily pagan. It is not enough however to simply show that pagan authors said certain things, you need to show that what they have said originates from their paganism and that paganism is necessary to their ideas. Anyone with a familiarity at all with the scriptures and church history will know that these quotes by pagans are not unique to paganism. St. Augustine said the concept of patriarchy goes back to the garden and to the patriarchs. In his book the City of God, he said, “And this is so much in accordance with the natural order, that the head of the household was called paterfamilias; and this name has been so generally accepted, that even those whose rule is unrighteous are glad to apply it to themselves.” He makes the point that the Roman title of Paterfamilias borrows from the natural order and it is so evident that even the wicked attempt to adopt this view. God has revealed in nature a created order which is evident to all. Therefore, pagans who reject God reveal that they know God and have the law written on their consciences. The Book of Romans lays this out clearly in its first few chapters. Rather than paganism being the foundation from which patriarchy flows and the church borrowing from the pagans, it is the opposite. God the Father gives his name to fatherhood and the pagans have borrowed from God’s creation. Can Pagans twist those truths? Certainly. And they most certainly do. Yet this does not undermine the truth. John Knox in his work the Monstrous Regiment of Women quoted at length several pagan authors to show that even the pagans recognize for example that women were not created to exercise authority over men in the civil realm. He then moves from these pagan authors to show that what they have said finds its source and correct view in the special revelation of God, the Bible. Mrs. Miller then jumps over 1800 years of church history to the Victorian age. She provides a chapter trying to tie Victorian views on men and women back to the Greek and roman philosophers. It is quite a leap. She says that this was the result of the Renaissance stirring up a desire to read the philosophers again. She provides several quotes which I suppose are supposed to shock the reader. For example, she writes “The Victorians found support for their belief that women belonged in the home in Paul’s encouragement that young women be “keepers at home” (Titus 2:5 KJV). William Alcott, an influential Victorian author and a cousin of Louisa May Alcott, explained that a woman “cannot discharge the duties of a wife, much less those of a mother, unless she prefers home to all other places, and is only led abroad from a sense of duty, and not from choice.” Mr. Alcott’s quote would find itself at home in any commentary or sermon on Titus 2 from any period of the church before the 1800s. Calvin, Luther, Matthew Henry, William Gouge, John Chrysostom, Augustine, and plenty of others from all ages of the church have said these things and more. The truth is that Mrs. Miller is starting with a feminist presupposition and anything that does not fit it, she is calling pagan. As an aside, it is interesting to note that almost of the quotes she provides from the Victorian age she got from a secondary source written by a feminist author. Mrs. Miller is quick to critique a supposedly unique “Victorian Patriarchy”, while she calls us to embrace Victorian feminism. When she criticizes the church for supposedly imbibing from pagan influence, she does so while quoting favorably and naming chapters after feminists like Elizabeth Clarke Wolstenholme, a proponent of the free love movement of the 1800s. When Wolstenhome got pregnant by a man she was living with, her colleagues demanded that she marry. She fought against it and said it went against everything she believed in. She did finally get married but only at the behest of others. Both her and her free love husband were committed secularists. Mrs Miller fawns over first wave feminism even to the point of having to remind readers that Margaret Sanger didn’t initially support abortion. Could it be that in Mrs. Miller's accusations against 2000 years of church history on sexuality, that she is the one imbibing from sources and worldviews foreign to scripture? Lastly, Mrs. Miller is quite dishonest in her approach to scripture and confessions. For example, she writes "But those of us who know our catechism can answer that our “chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.” Do you notice what is missing from her quote of the catechism? The word "Man's" has been chopped off her quote. Now this may seem like a nitpick type of criticism but in truth she does this all throughout the book. Anytime a quote from a confession or scripture uses the masculine inclusive she removes it from the quote. Why? Because the masculine inclusive teaches us something about sexuality. It teaches that male headship goes beyond merely who can preach a sermon in the official worship service on Sunday Morning. Not only does she work to remove the masculine inclusive from the text, she inverts the phrase "men and women" throughout the book to be "women and men." These are little things, but they are very telling. Another example of her dishonest approach is to simply make statements about scripture that are untrue. She writes “In addition, the church cared for Christian widows and did not require them to remarry. " But Holy Scripture says “Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach.” The discerning reader can find these types of things throughout the book. Her chapter on authority was a case study in sacrificing the normal on the alter of the abnormal. She is ashamed of the call from 1 Peter for a wife to submit even to an unbelieving husband who disobeys the gospel. She constantly is talking about the exceptions rather than the clear truths. She neuters the authority of the husband under the banner of servant leadership. One is left wondering if Mrs. Miller makes lists for her husband so that when he gets home he will know all the ways he can servant lead around the house. In all charity, Mrs. Miller sets out to answer a question that I actually am sympathetic to. She wants to answer the question “what are women called to do?” It is important in the feminist age we live in to provide a full-orbed biblical and positive view of femininity. Unfortunately, Mrs. Miller by shoddy historical and theological work trades the truthful, historical, biblical, and godly answer to the question for a lie. Rather than setting forth and embracing a positive view of women as life-givers and keepers of the home, she makes femininity into a cheap imitation of masculinity. It becomes a game of everything you can do, I can do better. Women are taught to that to be good women they must be good men. They are taught to ignore their calling at home for a calling elsewhere. It is not enough for her to love her husband, love her children, be a discreet and chaste keeper at home who submits to her husband. No, there must always be something more. It is the same lie that the snake told in the garden. God’s commands for women are not good enough. He is withholding from them. They must reach out and take a hold for themselves. As an ordained pastor and in the spirit of Titus 1, I exhort all believers to avoid this work and instead submit themselves to the Bible. Instead listen to what one Victorian-era Southern Presbyterian pastor had to say: Her submission is, therefore, a source of honour. She is not humiliated by it, but exalted...In her cordial submission of will, carrying with it the free coalescence of her own individuality with that of another, she becomes the first exponent of the mighty principle by which, through grace, sinful man is restored to fellowship with God. She is allowed to carry this principle down into all the details of life; and by a thousand acts to show how the will may turn upon its own pivot, and move freely under the law of control...It is a wonderful privilege afforded to her who, “being deceived, was in the transgression,” to be called thus openly to assert and illustrate the spontaneous loyalty of a will that perfectly blends with the authority which directs it. Such a mission is immeasurably grander in its proportions, and sweeter in its beneficence, than all the usurped dignities of the unsexed sisterhood who aspire, contrary to nature, to be the competitor and rival of man, rather than his counterpart and helpmeet." The Psalm writer wrote: Open my eyes, that I may behold Wonderful things from Your law. As we come before a Holy God and hear his word, may we have eyes open to the wonderful and fearful things from his law. May it move us to repent and seek forgiveness, fear disobedience, and live in light of the grace we have received. This is the word of God. It is eternally true and applicable for all of life.  Proverbs 31: 21-31 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates. The woman of virtue: clothed in fine linen, strength, and dignity. Busy with her hands, always looking to the ways of her household, never eating the bread of idleness. The virtuous woman opens her mouth teaching kindness, in wisdom. She has a husband who is known at the gates, a man of influence, with children who are thankful and give her much deserved honor and respect. This godly woman recognizes that beauty is vain and passing away, so adorns herself with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. Young ladies, you are going to need much prayer, and much striving to enter through the narrow gate, to resist the minefield of temptations before you in this day and age. Feminism has a chokehold on our society right now, and is placing pressure and demands on young women that are direct attacks on the biblical picture of womanhood. If Proverbs 31 illustrates for us how a godly, spirit-filled woman cares for her family and home, Proverbs 7 could easily be pointed to as an example of how feminism utterly destroys the relationship between men and women, and subsequently, their homes. The adulterous woman is wayward, loud, boisterous, and dresses like a prostitute. She is not content to be at home, working diligently to provide for her family, but rather prefers to be everywhere but home. She is brazen, with flattering lips, seeking to seduce with smooth words. Let’s be honest, there is a temptation to look at your godly mothers, with their gentle and quiet spirits, submitting to one man in their lives, their husbands, caring for their homes, and say to yourself “What a dull, drab existence. I want to get out and experience life. The way my mother wants to live her life might be fine for her,,,,but it’s sooooo old fashioned. This is 2019. I want to make lots of money. I want to get my finances, education, and house in order before I have a family. In the meantime I will test drive my potential spouse, and if they don’t meet my specific demands, I will find another. That’s how things work in 2019. Children? I am not ready for that. How can I work, go to school, have time for dating, and do what I want to do, if I have kids. I have plans, and Proverbs 31 definitely puts a damper on those. I think I like the picture painted in Proverbs 7 better: she seems to have more freedom, and seems to be having a fun, adventurous life. What could possibly be wrong with enjoying myself for a few years before being shackled with the burden of managing a home, full of whiny kids and a demanding husband?” Young ladies, he who thinks he stands, needs to take heed lest he falls. Many, many a fine young lady, having grown up in very reformed homes, have fallen prey to these temptations. Many young ladies have traded the life of a virtuous woman, for that of a wayward feminist who destroys her own home. The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands. A very vivid picture of this can be seen at the abortion clinic as young ladies, who a mere decade before would have never conceived of murdering their children, pay Anne the Butcher to do the dirty deed so that they can continue living their wayward lives unhindered. You say “I would NEVER have an abortion”. Fine. So, what middleman are you willing to pay so that you can shirk your responsibilities to God in pursuit of your will be done? Young men, you are responsible here as well. If you think you can fill your mind with pornography, sports, entertainment, and other worthless pursuits, rather than the Word of God, and be blessed to find a godly wife….you are a foolish young man, and will be seen lurking past the door of many an adulterous woman. Young men, if your aim is to walk down the broad road of destruction, dabbling in all this world has to offer, thinking that your future wife will submit to you in that, I have a warning for you: God will give you the desires of your heart. “Good!” you say. No, hear me very clearly young men: if it is your aim to reject the godly wisdom your father has sought to instill in you as you sow your wild oats, planning to return to the narrow path after you have tasted all this world has to offer, what you may find is that you have been blessed with a prostitute of a wife who will destroy your home and be a continual nagging drip, with children who hate you, dishonor you, and you will have been given everything you asked for, with nothing to blame but your cold dead heart. Thank God we have an advocate. Thank God we have a mediator. Thank God we have a Saviour. Let us kneel if able and cry out to god for mercy, and wisdom, and forgiveness for our sins against Him. Most High God. We thank you for giving us the perfect example of what a Husband and wife relationship looks like in Your Son Jesus and His Bride the Church. It is a beautiful picture that displays what You have decreed is best. Yet far too often, we trade Your beauty, plans, and wisdom for creaturely pursuits. Rather than submitting to Your ways, we trust the lord of our hearts, our lusts and passions, to guide and govern us. We confess with our mouths “Jesus is Lord” yet in our hearts say “My will be done”. Father, we often despise how You have made us, wanting instead to conform to the image of the world, rather than the image You created us in. We are prideful, arrogant, and restless. We always think that other pastures, other wells, and other shepherds are where we will find true contentment, satisfaction, and joy, only to find in the end no contentment, no satisfaction, and a cruel taskmaster all to willing to keep us in chains. Father, please be merciful towards us sinners. Please pour out Your grace upon us undeserving wretches. Please forgive us of our sins, and restore to us the joy of Your salvation. It’s in Jesus Name we pray, Amen. Listen now to the comforting assurance offered in the gospel to all who repent: Ephesians 1:4-8 In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. To all those who thus repent and seek Jesus Christ for their salvation, your sins are forgiven in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Lift up your hearts!
(From the 3/17/19 liturgy of Sovereign King Church, written by Aaron Sabie.) The Psalm writer wrote: Open my eyes, that I may behold Wonderful things from Your law. As we come before a Holy God and hear his word, may we have eyes open to the wonderful and fearful things from his law. May it move us to repent and seek forgiveness, fear disobedience, and live in light of the grace we have received. This is the word of God. It is eternally true and applicable for all of life.  Proverbs 31: 10-20 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. Christian wives, your worth is far above jewels. As your reprobate counterparts build their resumes, you are busy building up your home. As the feminists of the world unite against the patriarchy, you stand by your husband doing him good, not evil. As men in the world increasingly view women as manipulative, cold, calculating, and out to “#metoo” them, your husband trusts you as his helpmate. Matthew Henry says this regarding the trust a husband has for an excellent wife: “He trusts in her fidelity to his interests, and that she will never betray his counsels nor have any interest separate from that of his family. When he goes abroad, to attend the concerns of the public, he can confide in her to order all his affairs at home, as well as if he himself were there. She is a good wife that is fit to be trusted, and he is a good husband that will leave it to such a wife to manage for him.” Men of the world watch and give approval as the women in their lives destroy their children in the womb, wiping out their posterity to avoid the “burden” of childbirth, and the inconvenience of parenting. In contrast, your husbands look at you with awe and wonder as you embrace the pain of childbirth, wearing your battle scars like stripes earned in combat, knowing that children are a gift from the LORD. By your husbands side, you train these children up in the way they should go, sharpening them like arrows, knowing one day you will launch your children out into the world, into the enemy’s heart. The world hates you because you submit to your husband's headship, desiring to see you submit instead to the state, an employer, and the lusts of your flesh. With a heart full of delight, you work hard in your home: laundry, meals, diapers, homeschool, dishes, exhausted most days, contending with a husband and children who are often ungrateful, all the while displaying a gentle and quiet spirit as one of Sarah’s children. The scars, the quiet submission, the perseverance, the pressure, the challenges of keeping your home, raising your children, and submitting to your husband….are all pressures meant to refine you like a lump of coal being squeezed and transformed into a beautiful jewel. Wives, you truly are a gift to your husbands, treasures meant to be cherished. Yet, because of indwelt sin, you will oftentimes be tempted to hate your role as wife. You will be tempted to resent your place in the home, toiling day after day, often with little to no recognition for all your hard work. Because of desires in your heart not yet brought into subjection to Christ, you may find yourselves longing for the “freedom” enjoyed by those who co-opt the management of their homes and the raising of their children. Wanting to submit instead to employers, the pressures of the culture, and the lusts of your flesh, you may at times find yourselves doubting God’s plan for you, envying the wayward women of the world, embracing a little dab of culture here, a little bit of rebellion there. Husbands, though you know your wife is a precious jewel, and you know that you are to lay your life down for her the way Christ laid down His life for the Church, you often lay burdens on her that are meant for you alone to carry, forgetting that she is the weaker vessel. For instance, when you fail to apply swift corrective discipline to your children's foolishness, it is your wife who is left at home to deal with the ramifications. Not only can this lead your wife into resentment, it provokes your children to wrath. Additionally, as husbands leading your homes, Godly men, looking for avenues to serve Christ in all areas of life…..far too often we wind up neglecting the most important ministry God has put before us: loving our wives, encouraging our wives, teaching them from the Word, listening to their hearts, cares, and concerns. Men, we must learn to say no to things that interfere with our ministry to our wives, and by extension, our entire families. This means not only ministry opportunities, but also hobbies and other pursuits, anything that detracts from your ministry to your wife, rather than enhancing it. Husbands, we must love our wives the way Christ loves His Bride and laid down His life for her. Show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. Young men, you will not find an excellent wife among the harlots and temptresses of this world. You must look to the daughters of our heavenly Father for wives fit to be called precious jewels. Wives, rejoice in your high calling: child of God, wife, and mother. Your place in the home is one of the most vital, rewarding, and precious callings to be blessed with. Respect your husband as head of the home, in gentle, quiet submission. Take heart wives, and have faith, knowing that your labors of love are not in vain. Young ladies, look first to the Word of God, and second to Godly women in the Church, for a picture of marriage which is sure to honor your Heavenly Father. Resist the temptation to take advice on relationships from your worldly wayward friends. Resist the temptation to take your dating cues from a culture completely bent on destroying your womanhood. If you are able, please kneel as we cry out to our Heavenly Father for the forgiveness of sins, and grace to walk in the truth. Heavenly Father, we come to You with our distractions, our weaknesses, and our sin. We come with the baggage of a culture that hates womanhood, wives, and mothers, and which loves weak men and boys who never grow up. We come to You only by the blood of Your Son Jesus. Father, as the men, women, boys, and girls of SKC, we cry out to you for mercy. Please forgive us men where we have sinned against You when failing to love our wives. Please forgive the wives for their rebellion against your created order. Please show grace to the young men, and young ladies, that they may grow into maturity being shaped by Your Word rather than the world around us. Father, please show us grace, that we might encourage one another, love one another, and bear one another's burdens as we trek through this life together in communion with You. It’s in the Name of Your Son Jesus that we pray, Amen. Listen now to the comforting assurance of the grace of God, promised in the gospel to all that believe: Isaiah 57: 14-15 And it will be said, “Build up, build up, prepare the way, Remove every obstacle out of the way of My people.” For thus says the high and exalted One Who lives forever, whose name is Holy, “I dwell on a high and holy place, And also with the contrite and lowly of spirit In order to revive the spirit of the lowly And to revive the heart of the contrite. To all those who thus repent and seek Jesus Christ for their salvation, your sins are forgiven in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Lift up your hearts!
(From the 3/10/19 liturgy of Sovereign King Church written by Aaron Sabie.)  I, Pastor Joseph, received this letter from a brother in Christ who wanted to share his battle with and victory over sexual immorality and lust while calling both men and women to join in with this battle. I believe this heartfelt letter should move us to a love for God’s design for sex and for personal holiness. I hope that men will be encouraged in their battle with temptation and I pray that women will be convicted to love modesty and chastity because they love God and love their neighbor. Dear Brothers and sisters in Christ,
“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me”. I was born with a sin nature, a son of Adam. The first recollection I have of sexual immorality springing forth in my life I recall like it was yesterday. At around 8 years old I became aware that there was something “different” about men and women as a teenage girl who enjoyed sunbathing in her brown and tan bikini for all the little neighborhood boys to watch caught my attention one summer. At the time I didn't know what it was about her, but knew there was something there to be conquered, something I desired. As I grew older, my innocent curiosity grew, and I received a typical Southern Baptist education regarding relationships between men and women: I was taught that sex was a big NO. There was no explanation that a healthy sexual relationship between a husband and wife was how God designed men and women. Sex was painted as off limits, taboo, and dirty. Guess how this reprobate young boy came to view sex in that environment? As this dirty, dark venture to be engaged in as an act of defiance. Fast forward about 4 or 5 years. Spending the night at a friends house, I enjoyed my first beer, and my first glimpse of what would be recognized as hardcore pornography. 30 years later, I can still recall the scene that played out in my friends living-room on his big screen TV. I was lost, and the years of innuendo, sexually suggestive entertainment, and ignorant wonder exploded with that one glance. My sexual desires found an outlet that would dominate my thoughts and physical existence for decades. “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death”. Though temptations were everywhere, I had no one and nothing to blame but myself and my own sinful desires. I was now firmly planted on this path. Do not fool yourself into thinking that since no smut magazines, pornographic dvds, or garbage over the internet comes into your home, that you have created a safe space, free from sexual perversion. All forms of media and entertainment are filled with what 20 years ago would have been called pornographic. Even more than that, the men in your life are quite adept at finding sexual stimulus wherever their eyes roam, hidden away in their minds. Your husbands, sons, and brothers are oftentimes incapable, and willfully incompetent to discern this sin. God created men with a desire for sex. When utilized in accordance with God's created order, one man one woman, in a monogamous relationship as husband and wife, this sexual appetite can be used for good, God's glory. But venturing outside of this design has horrific consequences. In High school I found myself looking for teenage girls that would be the women found in the average smut magazine. I had a small collection of porn of my own by this time, which fueled my increasingly perverse desires. Friends viewed by my parents as “good” boys helped fuel this downward spiral. Bad company corrupts good morals….unfortunately I had no good morals to begin with, because I was a lost little boy, yet was considered to be a “good person” by most. Two years into my stint in the military, my porn collection and appetite had grown to a footlocker full of sexual immorality, and had expanded to strip clubs and prostitution. I was totally in bondage to my sexual sin, yet didn't even realize it. A contributing factor was the increasing amount of young women who found liberty in their sexuality, displaying it for all to see, and oftentimes all too willing to assist a lost, sin ravaged soul down the broad road to destruction. Ladies, each of us will have to stand before God on judgement day and give an account. Men before God giving an account for their lusts, and women giving an account for their contributions to it. Men must be self controlled, a fruit of the spirit, but lest you think women bear no responsibility, please consider Proverbs 7. My time after the military was no different, but a new wrinkle was added to the mix: marriage. By this time, I came to realize that my sexual appetite dominated me, but felt powerless to stop. Every. Single. Woman I saw and met became sex objects in my mind. Looking back, deep inside I hoped that marriage would save me. That I would marry this woman, and she would finally satisfy every wicked lust I had. What I had looked to for peace, marriage, became an object of resentment which wound up fueling even more sexual immorality. Jesus said if you even lust with a woman in your heart, you are guilty of adultery. My sin had moved from mental adultery to full blown, out in the open for everyone to see, depravity. Five years in, my marriage was in shambles. My cold dead heart was destroying the woman I promised to love till death do we part. Looking back, it was only God’s grace that kept us together. I continued to into a spiral of pornography and drunkenness, attempting to fill my life with a myriad of “manly” activities to hide my growing effeminacies and mountain of sin. Around 11 years into my marriage, I found myself tired of running from God, knew I was a hopeless sinner, and knew I had nowhere else to go. I believe it was sometime that year that God opened my eyes, helped me see my sin and its end, and I cried out to Him for mercy. Help Me! And He answered. Forgive Me! And He did. Yet the porn persisted. I came to realize that while it was true that i was saved and forgiven, I had to join Job in making a covenant with my eyes not to look upon a young woman. I had to be like David and allow no worthless thing come before my eyes. For most of my life i had been the foolish young man walking past the door of the adulteress woman, foolishly believing that I could toy with hot coals and not get burned. “It's just one glance, just one TV show, just one click of the mouse”. God called me to another path. A path of warfare. Putting your sin to death is the name of the game. Cutting off hands, plucking out eyes, and doing so in the power of the Holy Spirit is the only hope for men and boys trapped in this sin. God transformed, and is still renewing my mind day by day to realize that sex, like every good and perfect gift, is from God. He has taught me that it is our sin soaked hearts which pervert this good thing He has given us. Men must take responsibility for their sin. They must own the desires of their heart, and obey God's command to flee sexual immorality. Ladies, your husbands, brothers, friends, and sons are weaker, and more susceptible to sexual sin than you can imagine. As if our own sinful flesh isn't enough, men and boys contend with Satan's lies which say “God is withholding good from you”, and a world full of women who have been influenced by the scourge of feminism. Sisters, we need your help. Help us to love our wives. Help us to love our sisters in Christ. Help us not have to avert our eyes in church. An aspect of this sin involves not causing another to stumble. Your language, eyes, and dress can all be contributors to sexual immorality, however, this does not negate the responsibility of men and boys to guard their hearts and eyes from sexual perversion. Ladies, a call for you to live and dress modestly, isn't a call for you to live as prudes, in bondage to men who cannot control their passions, but rather a call for you to reserve your sexuality for the man blessed to be your husband. There is nothing more beautiful than a Christian woman exercising her Christian liberty by seeing that she is not a cause for stumbling among her brothers. Christian women, we do need help. We are called to turn back those stumbling to the slaughter, to bear one another’s burdens, and I can assure you, those trapped in this sin, struggling with it, and waging open warfare against it, are in danger of stumbling to the slaughter and carry a tremendous burden hidden by shame, guilt, and pride. The men in every area of your life need your help. “Your lust isn't my problem” you may be tempted to say. What about your son or husband? “I have liberty to dress in a way that I deem moderate”. Fair enough. Does this liberty give you license to sin? “Why this message, in this format, at this time”? Because brothers and sisters, the Church of Jesus Christ is being ravaged by sexual sin, and it often seems that it's only “those other people” who are impacted. We cringe at the thought of God's created order being subverted by female “pastors”. We scoff at those who would twist scripture and hold up homosexual behavior as a healthy alternative lifestyle. We become righteously indignant at the fornication and adultery that has divided churches and destroyed lives. We herald the gospel of Jesus Christ as the hope for those trapped in these sins. We champion repentance, and demand accountability of all involved. But when it comes to the sin of lust, which often takes place in the dark recesses of one's own mind, we often say “deal with it. I cannot help the fact that my presence and how I carry myself leads you to sin. Get your lust under control”. These men cannot without the gospel. They cannot without the church living out their lives in a manner worthy of their calling. We are called to bear with one another's burdens, to lay down our lives for one another, to consider others more highly than ourselves. We don't give a pass to sin, we make war with the sword of the spirit, with genuine Christian love not afraid of getting dirty, with men and women saying together #metoo. We are all sin sick sinners in need of a savior. I am a sinner saved by the grace of God, and I want to see men and women flourish in the way God has created them, in the place God has called them.  Proverbs 7:11 She is boisterous and rebellious, Her feet do not remain at home...
The book of Proverbs gives a great picture of the difference between a godly woman and a wicked woman. One of the characteristics of the godly woman is that she "looks well to the ways of her household. (Proverbs 31:27) A godly woman's primary focus is homeward. It is not that she is a slave to the kitchen or always cooped up in a house but her primary focus is to the home. The industrious work that she does as a helper to her husband is in care of the household. She is a quiet, submissive, and diligent woman so that her husband can trust her while he is away taking dominion over the earth. The wicked woman is not so. She is boisterous. She is rebellious and she does everything she can to be away from the home. Her focus is outward even if she makes a big show of being homeward focused. She is given to malicious gossip, scorn for authority, and superstition. (Titus is supposed to instruct the older women to avoid these things and teach the younger to be workers at home. Titus 2). Her husband should not trust her. Now we are all aware of the blatant ways that our culture has encouraged woman to place their focus anywhere but the home. But even for women who are not pursuing the career ladder there is a temptation to not have their feet remain at home. Years ago that temptation was through day-time soap operas. Women could leave the home without ever leaving the home. They could get caught up in the manufactured drama, gossip and rebellion of the Bold and the Beautiful. They could live vicariously Young and Restless rebellion through the Days of their Lives. But now Day Time Soaps ratings are plunging. Some media outlets have called Soap Operas "a dying genre." Why is that? Well, why watch manufactured drama when you can be a part of real drama on social media? You can keep your feet far from home while sitting in your living room on your cell phone. Some women can make a big show about being at home, while spending all their time on facebook spreading malicious gossip, creating facebook pages mocking pastors, older women, and other leaders and going from comment thread to comment thread blasting anyone who they disagree with. You can be a boisterous and rebellious regiment with your feet far from home on the internet. You can live the young and restless for real. That is the way, however, of the wicked. The wise woman can use social media in a way that maintains her gentle, quite, and diligent spirit. She can show respect to and for authority. She can use social media in a way that honors God and causes her husband to say “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” She can use social media in a way that does not result in her feet constantly on the roam. |
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