That Long Hair Will Kill You
Then David took a count of the people who were with him and appointed over them commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds. And David sent the people out, a third under the command of Joab, a third under the command of Abishai the son of Zeruiah, Joab’s brother, and a third under the command of Ittai the Gittite. And the king said to the people, “I myself will certainly go out with you also.” But the people said, “You should not go out; for if in fact we flee, they will not care about us; and if half of us die, they will not care about us. But you are worth ten thousand of us; so now it is better that you will be ready to help us from the city.” Then the king said to them, “Whatever seems best to you I will do.” So the king stood beside the gate, and all the people went out by hundreds and thousands. But the king commanded Joab, Abishai, and Ittai, saying, “Deal gently with the young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the people heard when the king commanded all the commanders regarding Absalom.
Then the people went out to the field against Israel, and the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim. The people of Israel were defeated there by the servants of David, and the slaughter there that day was great, twenty thousand men. For the battle there was spread over the whole countryside, and the forest devoured more people that day than the sword devoured.
Now Absalom encountered the servants of David. Absalom was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the branches of a massive oak. Then his head caught firmly in the oak, and he was left hanging between the sky and earth, while the mule that was under him kept going. When a certain man saw him, he informed Joab and said, “Behold, I saw Absalom hanging in an oak.” Then Joab said to the man who had informed him, “So behold, you saw him! Why then did you not strike him there to the ground? And it would have been my duty to give you ten pieces of silver and a belt.” But the man said to Joab, “Even if I were to receive a thousand pieces of silver in my hand, I would not put out my hand against the king’s son; for in our hearing the king commanded you, Abishai, and Ittai, saying, ‘Protect the young man Absalom for me!’ Otherwise, if I had dealt treacherously against his life (and there is nothing hidden from the king), then you yourself would have avoided me.” Then Joab said, “I will not waste time here with you.” So he took three spears in his hand and thrust them through the heart of Absalom while he was still alive in the midst of the oak. And ten young men who carried Joab’s armor gathered around and struck Absalom and killed him.
Then Joab blew the trumpet, and the people returned from pursuing Israel, for Joab restrained the people. And they took Absalom and threw him into a deep pit in the forest, and erected over him a very large pile of stones. And all Israel fled, each to his own tent. Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and set up for himself a memorial stone, which is in the King’s Valley, for he said, “I have no son to continue my name.” So he named the memorial stone after his own name, and it is called Absalom’s Monument to this day.
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